Saturday, October 16, 2010

I'm buying a Mercedes.

I know what you're thinking, how can an unemployed communications person afford a Mercedes? I counter with how can I not?

Have you seen the most recent commercials touting Mercedes? A woman looks into the camera and concernedly says, "My son was sleeping in the back seat. I had no idea I was falling asleep and drifting into the other lane." Another concerned person says, "I didn't know I was weaving all over the road." Another says, "I wasn't aware that I was a danger on the road." And then they all say, "But my Mercedes did."

Well I was sold. According to the commercial if I am such an idiot that if I had a child asleep in the back seat and I was apparently too tired to stay awake at the wheel but kept driving anyway my car would protect me. If I was weaving in and out of traffic and completely unaware of that, my car would protect me. If I happened to be a danger to every other responsible driver on the road, my car would protect me.

Hallelujah! This is just what I need. If I'm out at a bar and have drunk myself into a coma I can still drive home because my car will protect me by avoiding all the stupid sober drivers out there that might get in my way. If I happen to be running late for an appointment and am going thirty or forty miles over the limit and some idiot happens to have the right of way at a traffic light my car will let me know and steer around the offender. If I'm searching for a different song on the radio, while programming the GPS, while texting and changing the clock from daylight savings time to Eastern standard my car will protect me by correcting my path and keeping me on the road.

Sure the cost of a new, or even used or even junked Mercedes is prohibitive for someone in my financial position but I figure I can't afford not to buy one. Maybe the new Mercedes will warn and protect me from the repo people that come to claim the car when I can't make the second payment.

After all, it is a Mercedes.

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